On Speaking About Negative Self-Talk

Tama Lake Japan

Heads-up this might be the most honest thing I’ve written.

In the past few weeks I’ve really upped my meditation game and began reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. Tolle’s book is about being totally in the present moment. Focussing on the now and training your mind to move away from thoughts about the past and future.

But today isn’t really about The Power of Now.

See, here’s the thing about telling someone not to think about something … chances are they’ll start thinking about it.

Give it a go. Try not to imagine an elephant.

And thus I’ve been thinking a lot about the past and my mind has gone to some very dark places.

Anger.

Sadness.

Regret.

Shame.

Guilt.

Hatred.

This morning I was consumed by so much negativity, so much self-hatred, so much sadness, and anger that I really didn’t know what to do.

I read articles and books and religious passages and philosophical extracts as I tried to find a way out.

It wasn’t enough.

I didn’t know what options I had left.

If I had any options or anything left.

So I spoke with my wife. Told her about all the pain. All the darkness. All the negativity.

Told her things that I hadn’t told her in almost a decade of our relationship.

Things I hadn’t told anyone.

And she listened.

And she told me things she hadn’t told me in almost a decade of our relationship.

Things she hadn’t told anyone.

And I listened.

Together we have and will continue to help each other navigate through the darkness.

If you have pain and shame and regret and guilt, please do not carry it alone.

However difficult, however much self-hatred is trying to consume you, speak to someone.

Don’t let the darkness win.

5 thoughts on “On Speaking About Negative Self-Talk

  1. Oleg says:

    I have similar feelings from time to time. But doubt can only be removed by action. Which I always do. Whatever happens in your life, Michael, just never stop. Action is life!

    Greetings from Russia! Love your podcasts. It’s really great stuff.

    • michael says:

      Thanks so much for the kind words, Oleg. Especially about the podcast—I’m delighted to hear you’re enjoying it. Hope that you manage to silence the negative self-talk and it doesn’t get you down for long. Have a great day! MDW

  2. Tim says:

    The negative self-talk can be the most difficult thing to overcome, as it is something driven into a person by the media, all the social contacts, and everyone who thinks you are not the ideal image of “the perfect.” I feel like you are right: the best solution is conscious resistance to the spoken words, and meditation is in many ways the art of consciousness.

    Thanks for the h ads-up to your blog given on the poscast. Bravo to you and your co-host for all the wonderful work you are doing with “This is Horror.” I am learning a lot from the show, and I look forward to reading more of your blog, as well. Best of every day to you!

    • michael says:

      Thank you so much, Tim. A really smart and insightful comment into the nature of negative self-talk and ways to navigate it. So glad you’re enjoying the podcast, too. Have a great day!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.